De-Stress Tips and News 6
Relationship Stress
On a Personal Note....
Have you seen the Valentine's Day protests?
Kids, parents, significant others, neighbors,
co-workers - Nothing seems to stress us more
than other people!
I had a stressful encounter this month with
someone who took something I said as a
personal insult.
No matter how I tried to help them understand
that what they heard was not the intent of my
message, it did not work.
The more I talked, the more the other person
took every word as an insult.
It was so frustrating, because I would never
intentionally hurt anyone's feelings.
Using my relationship stress tools and
techniques, I was able to weather this
interpersonal storm with less stress and
more acceptance and understanding.
I'm so glad to have these strategies and
delighted to share them with you in this
issue of De-Stress Tips and News.
I'm visioning peaceful relationships!
Namaste,
:)) Aila
FeedBack Request!
Please let me know your thoughts and
suggestions on this issue. And, Please
share your De-Stress Tips too!
Features:
(1) Tip
(2) Quote
(3) Action
(4) Spotlight on You
(5) Q & A
(6) Article
(7) Upcoming Events
(8) Aila Recommends
(1) Tip
Let Go of Who is Right or Wrong
Every person is unique and has unique
experiences that shape understanding.
Just because we may speak the same
language, English for example, does not
guarantee that we understand words and
expressions in the same way. In fact,
none of us understands anything in
exactly the same way.
When a relationship or communication
exchange is going smoothly, it may be
because our meanings and understandings
are close enough. When those meanings
are far apart, conflict can occur. The words
or expression of them not only don't' mean
the same thing; they can be completely
opposite.
Who is right? Who is wrong? Arguing this
point will not resolve the misunderstanding.
You must realize that you have no control
over the other person's interpretation or
choice to continue to be angry, insulted,
or disengaged. You only have control of
your intention, message and reactions.
Take charge of your end of the exchange
and let go of trying to be right in the other
person's mind.
Try to see their perspective if you can.
Realize that they are right from their
viewpoint.
There are no winners or losers in a
relationship. Only people who choose
to learn through sharing their different
views.
(2) Quotes
"Find the person who will love you because
of your differences and not in spite of them
and you have found a lover for life."
Leo Buscaglia
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as
if they were going to be dead by midnight.
Extend to them all the care, kindness and
understanding you can muster, and do so with
no thought of any reward. Your life will never be
the same again." Og Mandino
Ask for Feedback
When you are in a conversation this week,
ask for feedback from the other person(s)
about how they heard what you just said.
Do not pick a particularly contentious
conversation. Any general discussion
will do.
Let the other person know that you are
not testing them. Rather, share that you
are exploring the different ways people
hear and understand the same information.
Be curious and open to the other person's view.
Resist the urge to correct their view.
Prepare to be amazed!
(4) Spotlight on You
Craig Wilger has many talents and interests
and a wonderful sense of humor and adventure!
He is a certified building biologist and licensed
massage therapist, who has a passion for
sustainable environments and bodies. He created
two businesses Fresh Indoors, specializing in
improving indoor environmental quality in homes
and businesses and Back in Harmony, providing
body work, tools and Body Flexible™ workshops
that empower people to release tightness in their
own muscles and connective tissues for a lifetime
of strength and pliability.
Here are Craig's reflections on business coaching
with Aila:
"From my perspective and based on my experience,
Aila Accad's ability to really help entrepreneurs
develop successful enterprises comes from the fact
that she's been involved in the human potential
movement for several decades. She's done her own
work in this area. So, unlike many others who can
provide you with a business plan template or give
advice on marketing, she can also assist with the
emotional changes that sometimes must precede
real financial breakthroughs and those that inevitably
come with the accumulation of wealth.
We all know people who are rich financially but
bankrupt in the spiritual or emotional arenas. This is
only a partial success. Aila can lead you up the
mountain - not simply point to the top and say,
"There it is, go for it".
I would recommend Aila to anyone truly wanting
to truly be rich on all levels, financial, emotional
and spiritual."
Craig Wilger
You can reach Craig at
wilgerca at suddenlink.net
Let's feature YOU in the next De-Stress Tips News!
Tell us how De-Stressing with our products,
workshops or coaching is making a difference
in your life. E-mail your De-Stress results to
ailaspeaks@gmail.com
(5) Q & A
Q How do you deal with co-workers who are rude or
ignore you?
A Here are a few ways you might view or approach
this situation.
First, identify your feelings about the other
person's behavior. Are you offended, hurt,
feeling affronted or left out? Where are you
feeling this in your body? Does the feeling
remind you of a person or situation from earlier
in your life? Do you frequently have encounters
with rude people? EFT can be tremendously
helpful to relieve the stressful reactions and
uncover possible connections to early life
experiences that may be old patterns.
Second, think about what words or behaviors
the other person is exhibiting that "feel" rude to
you. Could there be another interpretation for their
behavior. For example, could they be insecure,
introverted, prefer to be quiet or just not talkative?
Accept that you do not know what is behind their
behavior. Opening your perspective can help to
see other possibilities that might change your
response.
T hird, if it is important that you have a better
working relationship with this person you may
want to consider having a conversation with
them about your perception. Be sure to focus
on concrete behaviors and statements that
concern you. Rather than saying, "I noticed
you are being rude or ignoring me." You would
be better to note, "Yesterday, when you walked
by me without saying hello, I felt ignored. I want
to have a good working relationship with you, so
can you help me understand your reason for not
speaking to me?" In this way, you are identifying
a concrete behavior, taking responsibility for your
feeling and intention, and requesting information.
It is important to speak with the tone of wanting to
understand, not accusation.
(6) Article
Five Tips to De-Stress Relationships
The most difficult stressor for most of us is other people.
We often blame other people for our feelings, thoughts
and choices we feel forced to make. The truth is other
people are not responsible for any of these things. more....
Click on each event to see details
Celebrate the Spring Equinox
Join us for a Body-Mind-Spirit Renewal
Watch for
Aila's Book Releases coming in March
EFT Level 1 & 2 Coming in June
New Weight Release Product & Supplements
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;)) Aila
"The De-Stress Expert"
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